Saturday, June 21, 2008


There are so many times in your life when you are unsure. Uncertainty is not easy. I have been struggling, in all aspects of my life. Trying one thing, moving on to another, starting this, wishing for that. Life has got the better of me. But yet I am constantly reminded to seek first the kingdom of God. Sometimes easier said then done. I have heard some direction from our Lord lately, and it has worked. But then I wonder what am I not hearing? If I know what I am hearing is from him why do I still struggle with following what I believe to be simple black and white instructions? Not enough hours in the day is what I am finding. I often find myself so micromanaging stuff that in the time it takes to plan it I could have had a lot more accomplished. I feel I am failing. In many ways. I am able to pay the bills and I am so unbealivably grateful for that answered prayer. I used to wish and pray that I would have enough money in our bank accounts to be able to write a check and not worrie. That prayer has been answered. Howere, I did not realize the flip side to it. How much I would have to be working. How much the children and I would miss each other because of working so much. What I would give up. I am very grateful for my job espically in such hard economic time. I give God all the glory. Where do you start? How do you widdle down the to do list? How do you decide what is pratical and what should, sometimes sadly, be left a dream. Everyday is a new day. Everyday I want to be making progress, but in my heart everyday I truly just want to be home with my family and enjoy them. I love the Lord! I love my family! But I still don't always know how to pull my feet out of the sand.


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