There are days and times that are frustrating even scary. Days you wonder why....
The other night was going okay but it changed quickly. The other night seemed normal soccer, grocery store, dinner.... pretty normal nightly events. But there were a few things changed in the mix. I never go to the kids soccer practices this year. I have school the same time so Jay takes them to practices and I take them to games. But school was canceled so I jumped on the chance to go. After soccer I had to register the kids for a winter event which meant I had to bring all their birth certificates and social security cards with me. I have never carried all of these important documents with me before nor do I ever. But I ran from soccer to there then the grocery store then to home all rather quickly. I came home to 3 crying kids, nothing started in the way of there dinner, a missing piano book, Jay frustrated, just chaos. I was not even out of the car before I was bombarded.
I grabbed the groceries and went inside. I tried to settle them down and fix dinner. Jay started spaghetti noodles but nothing else was done. As things got a tiny bit calmer more problems exploded!! We had no spaghetti sauce, there was no frozen pizza I could just throw in, we are out of eggs, I was able to come up with doughnuts and hot dogs I KNOW what a healthy dinner, but hey they liked it and ate it all up. I think I might have gave them milk too, so that cancels out the rest, right? The worse part was I had just came from the grocery store not knowing we needed any of these things.
Still unable to find the missing piano book I start wondering humm where is my purse? I looked around quickly and did not see it and then I really started wondering where is my purse and thinking about what was in it. I could not find it. I started panicking I looked all through the car in the dark over and over, nothing. I called the grocery store no one turned it in. I was in a lost stage. It was not for the money inside, my license, checks, or credit cards even key to my car and house which my address was also with because of the license, but I was suddenly in a tormented frenzy because I had the only copies of all 5 kids birth certificates and social security cards. They were all together. Talk about something priceless. 5 unused completely original and legitimate identification. I would have the hardest time replacing any of the birth certificates without the social security cards and vice versea. Someone could now take one or all my kids id's and destroy there future. There are far to many people who hunt this stuff down and for me to essentially hand over 5 of them! I was distrot! I was heartbroken for what might be done in their future. Still unable to find my purse I jumped back in the car and took off I made it to the end of the street before I ran out of gas, great and I have no cards to put gas in it with, what else really? I reversed home ( I live on a one way street) and quickly swapped cars. I grabbed my Suburban and flew.
I watched my speedometer go higher and higher as I flew down country roads. But in my mind thinking of a 32 year old who died the other day in a car accident leaving behind a young wife and 2 babies. So I slowed down. After all I could replace everyting it would just be a big battle. But I could never replace my life.
So I started praying, fervently, Lord help please let me find my purse! What a silly prayer. But I was so worried about those papers. I was so sad for what could happen. God answers big things and small things, I knew he was hearing me I just hope he would answer in my favor.
I got to the grocery store I asked everyone had they seen it? Has anyone turned it in? No was all I would get. I looked at all the carts, nothing. I looked through the parking lot and it was not there. My last hope was some one just grabbed my wallet and through the rest away so I dug through all the garbage cans. It was not there. By now who ever had it could be anywhere they could have thrown it anywhere. Defeated I went home.
Saddened on the way home over the papers mostly but also over my phone. It had pictures I had took of the kids just earlier that day. I did not want some stranger to have their pictures. I had other pictures too from school and sports it just made me feel real creepy thinking someone had these pictures and my address. Laughing at my happy family saying "haha do you know how much I just sold your kids id for. I ruined their life, yours too and I don't care." I was miserable I did not know what to do. Should I stop at the police station on the way home? I just kept praying Lord please let me find my purse when I go home maybe it will be in the driveway or fell somewhere I couldn't see it the first time.
I got home I did not go inside but back to my car and kept looking. I could not find it. Saddened I kept my head down and did not even notice my husband and son and walked out till he said did you find it? No I mummered out as I still kept looking. Finally I looked up to see him. To see him with my purse slung around his shoulder! I could not believe it!!! My son found it after I had left but could not call to tell me since my phone was in there.
I was so happy so relieved, my prayers had been answered! I let them God let found find mommy purse for me, thank you all. I grabbed the papers out and immediately locked them back up in the safe. Still shook up from the whole episode. Still amazed and relieved that it was found. It was hard to get over those feeling that night. Worry, sadness, frustration, desperation, joy, relief.
I am writing all this down not because I feel like telling you what a crazy night I had. How I lost my purse and my mind. How dumb I was that I did not find it at my home. But because of what the pastor said on Sunday. I took all the kids by myself and we made to and through church. With some troubles, it was NOT easy but we will keep trying till it gets easier But the pastor said write down your answered prayers. I have had a lot answered and many that haven't been. But I had this one just answered the other night